hey. (:
i miss you.
i want to see you.
i want to see how you are right now.
i want to be there with you.
i want to see that you're really okay. or whether you're not really okay.
i want to be physically near you.
i think if i could just see you for a day, i'll be okay;
i'll be okay to not wana be in contact with you every so often.
i mean, right now, i just wana call you every once in a while, or chat with you online, basically be in touch with you - pretty much constantly.
especially when i've found out what's just happened to you very recently.
i can't.... i mean, i feel like.. it feels hard that i'm not physically there with you. to be there for you. to look out for you.
sheesh. i don't really know what i'm talking about.
it sounds as though i'm saying you can't take good care of yourself.
& that's really not what i mean.

well, let me just cut to the chase.
i don't know whether i'm truly in love with you, or whether i'm just pretty much obsessed with you.
i mean, i can't help but call you to hear from you, just to know how you are, even though i jolly well know you're pretty busy at work - that i shouldn't even be disturbing/distracting you.
i can't help but call you even though there is that possibility that you could be sleeping or just having your very much needed rest.
i can't help but keep calling each time i don't get through the call, until i eventually hear your voice, or until i'm sure that you're the one rejecting the call for some reason, that there isn't a connection problem.
i don't stop thinking about you, imagining/fantasizing about you, picturing you, wondering about you - i simply can't get you out of my head.
i'm not afraid of losing you.
but i want you. bad.
it doesn't matter to me who you end up being with, as long as i know you are truly happy the way you are, in the place that you are, even just in this fleeting life.
i would feel sad, that you're not with me. but after a while, i'm sure, with God's will, i'll be okay.
but right now, i can't stop wishing, imagining, that i'm with you already.
i can't stop thinking about you.
why is that?
i mean, i can't stop thinking about YOU.
i'm afraid; i'm afraid that i might be losing my real focus, pushing aside/ignoring/dismissing everything else in my life, just because of this thing that i have with you - which i can't say what it really is. is this love? or am i simply so obsessed over you?

i honestly don't know. i guess i could only really know, over time.
but...




i remember the promise i'd made to you.

i don't know what loving is, but i promise, with God's will, i will learn to love you with all i've got, no matter what it takes.



& all that, just because i can feel you sincerely love me - for who i am.



i feel like i love you, for the sake of Allah.



but والله اعلم بالصواب.


but why have i become ignorant of my important duties to Allah?
it seems like i have forgotten that Allah is my utmost priority; my number 1.
He is the One i should never stop thinking about, the One i should be feeling immense love for, the One i should be putting in lots of effort to get to know better, the One i should constantly be aware of, constantly be afraid of, constantly be close to - the One i should be wanting sooo much to be reallly near to, close to.


what has happened to me?
how could i have allowed my feelings/thing for you to be a barrier or to lead me away from what ought to be my main focus, which is fulfilling my duties, my role as a servant to Allah the Almighty, achieving my aim to be a true servant in every possible way towards Allah the Creator, the Almighty, the Beneficient, the Merciful?
what, have i gone astray?

استغفر الله العظيم واتوب اليك

i've gOt to quit snacking away as i like.











i've just recently heard 'bout a supposedly innocent Muslim ex-actress, who played decent characters in local drama series what with her innocent look........ suddenly getting exposed, as a video of her, performing various sex with a guy, got leaked by th guy himself.. & got circulated online..

... astaghfirullahal'azhim... na'udzubillah min dzalik...



segala puji bagi Allah yang menjaga aib kita..
thanks to Allah for keeping covered our sins, our weaknesses, our doings which if exposed could bring down our respectability & defame us..


itulah satu-satunya tanda kasih sayang Tuhan kepada hamba-hambaNya..
that is one sign of God's love for His servants..







oh th things that go through my mind...........
wallahua'lam bissawab..

Bismillahirrahmaanirrahiim..
In the name of Allah, the Beneficient, the Merciful..
Dear God, please guide me to the Right Path...
please help me to keep to the Right Path..
agar aku menjadi seorang hamba yang bertaqwa kepadaMu, Ya Allah..
berilah aku taufik dan hidayah, dan kuatkanlah imanku ini..
Laa hawla wa laa quwwata illaa billahil 'aliyyil 'azhim..
sesungguhnya.. aku tiada daya, keupayaan, juga kekuatan kecuali dariMu, Ya Allah Yang Maha Agung Dan Maha Tinggi..
dan hanya kepadaMu aku bermohon..
Amin, Ya Rabbal 'Alamin...

segala puji bagiMu kerana menutup segala aib kami..
moga ku tahu syukurku adalah milikMu.....

QUOTE OF THE DAY

Kak-ni was putting baby's things back to where they belong, since baby's parents were busy with their own things to do.
This means she was in the living room in front of the TV.
Voice from the kitchen, "Kak-ni, you play cheat, you said you'll watch the show together with me!!"
Already agitated Kak-ni went without thinking, "What makes you think I'm watching the show!? Watch your mouth lar."
(Actually, YOU "watch your mouth lar", Kak-ni.)
"It wasn't anything serious, why'd you have to be rude?"
"Ah shudup."

The intended response by agitated Kak-ni was, "Why d'you have to assume I'm watching the show just because I'm out here? Please don't anyhow talk."

But still, I just hAve to be rude. When the heCK am I gona change that 'bout me?

Oh, shudup, Hanisah.

Stop it with your typing things out. You don't even end up doing anything about ANYthing!
And here you're still self-criticising like it does you any good, ever.

Get lost, Hanisah. Shoo!

And to think that I wear the hijab to cover my aurat. It's so revolting that I'm not as mindful with other important aspects as well.
Really revolting. To the max.


For the love of God; go and change, Hanisah.

So THIS is Harith!!
Mhd Azib Harith; to be more precise.
Fierce-looking Mhd Azib Harith in his very 1st photo; to be even more precise.
=D

Mhd Azib Harith's 1st day.
Is he adorable? Can you even say no? -.-



Harith: "Look, Ibu! I am ULTRA-MAAAN!"



Harith: "Don't you dare take Bumble Bee away from me."



Introducing........ Burger Face!



Harith: "..Ibuuuuuu.. I can't move about in this thing!"



Harith smiles in his dream...



Harith: "Everyone? Meet my bolster. I love my bolster. (:"



Ibu: "Harith, quick, say hi to everyone!!"
Harith: "Hi."



Harith: "No, wait. Hey, listen! I'm trying really hard to explain something here!"

Above are just several of Harith's photos. Cameras are still being filled with endless shots of him, HAhha!!

So I'm officially Aunty Hani.

-.-

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.

Dear Harith,
In time to come, you shall be the eldest cousin on Ibu's [Mommy's] side, and the eldest boy cousin on Ayah's [Daddy's] side. Meanwhile, you're probably gonna become a spoiled brat with your many aunts & uncles, cousins, grandparents, grandaunts & granduncles, showering you with love, attention, things, and prayers, as you are the first one in your generation in the family, i.e. the 1st grandson, if not the 1st grandchild. We love you very much, dear Harith. May you grow to live up to your name Mhd Azib Harith; Azib = Sabar dan gigih, Harith = Kuat berusaha. Semoga Harith sihat wal-afiat. Semoga Harith menjadi seorang yang beriman dan bertaqwa kepada Allah s.w.t. Dan semoga Harith menjadi seorang anak yang soleh dan mithali. (: May you achieve great things in life, dearest Harith. You're very much loved. One day you shall see this, insha-Allah. Hahha.. ((:

Love,
Your one and only Aunty Hani. (;

I'm so excited to meet Harith! I'm just holding my breath till he comes around, insha-Allah. =D

Who is Harith? ^_<


Relatives are NOT allowed to take their guess. Don't pretend to wonder why. o.o









To all former/present GCE 'A' Level students.

What is/are your immediate response/reaction(s) when you're randomly being thrown a question, by people seemingly oblivious, which sounds somewhat like "So how is the 'A' Levels like? Difficult?"?

PSLE Math 2009

Jim bought some chocolates and gave half of it to Ken. Ken bought some sweets and gave half of it to Jim. Jim ate 12 sweets and the ratio of his sweets to chocolates became 1:7. Ken ate 18 chocolates and the ratio of his sweets to chocolates became 1:4.
Qn: How many sweets did Ken buy?

please, time, please don't move any faster than this.
please; i beg of you.







- so pathetic, ain't it?
begging like tht.. yet still not exactly making the best out of every ticking second.
who really does that, anyway? i wonder.

TROUBLE

i had an awkward dream last night.

like any other dream, it felt very real. but after thinking 'bout it, of course there were things that didn't make sense, as it was a dream.

but out of nowhere, i actually dreamt of them; 1 of mother's best friends & her husband. she was also the Al-Quran Guru of my siblings & i.

& i was sent by mother to deliver a letter to her.
in the dream, it was as though we lived in different towns — which was why mother sent me over.
hence i had to travel, & after arriving, i stayed in town for a few days. i still hadn't delivered the letter yet. (don't bother asking why; it was in a dream) or had i? i don't recall which.

eventually, i ran into the husband of mother's friend to whom the letter was to be delivered.
he asked what i was doing there; i frankly told him the reason.
& then i don't remember what happened.

& instead, i recall a different scene, where i'm with mother & aunts & uncles. with a different atmosphere too.
it seemed like a completely different dream. but i'm not certain if it was.

but then, i only recall the 'conclusion' of the dream about mother's friend & her husband:-

quite suddenly, before/after i delivered the letter, but before i left town, i received news — news that...
this was only a dream okayy?mother's friend had passed away.

or was it both of them together?

i'm not sure if i had this doubt in the dream itself, or when i was awake.
i'm all confused.
i'm only human.

God knows best.


it's not like i'm filled with worry, or despair, or anxiety.
but it's just unusual that i dreamt about them; of all people.
it's really uncalled for.

or is it?
surely, God knows best.


insha-Allah; it remains as nothing more than 1 of my dreams. (: