Friday, December 22, 2006
for now all i really feel is HATRED.
HATRED towards me.
for being soo lousy in controlling myself.
for owing SOOO many things.
for delaying everything !!
for wanting things to come easy all the time !!
for not facing the music !!
for SO MANY MORE THINGS !!
this is so sick. i'm beginning to loathe myself, if that's allowed.
almost all my posts 'r so BANAL that i bore people till they stop reading my blog.
i'm so confused. do i want to be a nice person, or not ??
if i do, why 'm i stil so rude to my parents?? why must i always raise my voice when answering their simple questions ??
so i'm frustrated 'n annoyed of responding to multiple questions.
don't mean i have to be so contemptous of my parents, 'n stil be so supercilious about it !!
why do i have to owe MY BEST FRIEND the one thing that she really really needed so long ago 'n drag it for months !!??
why do i have to put her in a situation such that she probably feels reluctant to demand from me whatever i owe her 'n patiently listens while i say "ok.. i will.. BLAHBLAH BLAH..." !!??
why did i have to turn this issue into something that has refrained me from talking to her altogether ??
why did i have to ruin things ??
why 'm i so disinclined to even so much as look through my school things 'n at least CHECK what needs to be done before school opens ??
what do i want ??
"one who fails to improve oneself for 2 days in a row will eventually fail."
2:07 pm and hani went off; embarrassed .
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